Michelle Markowitz

Nefeli's summarization of our day (1.5 hours) at the gym yesterday was most accurate.  She sort of glossed over one part though.  It really wasn't a big deal, but I think she might have mentioned the steam room?  Did she?  I'm not sure.  We were only in there for about 10 minutes and it was fine, just a normal steam room type experience.  Nothing really out of the ordinary.  I confirmed this with another guy that worked here.  Except for one small problem.

I feel completely weird with Nefeli today.  I mean, it really wasn't a big deal, and I hardly, no - NEVER do that sort of thing but I guess afterwards when we said bye I sort of thought I don't know, maybe she might call or text or something?  I mean, I know she has my number, and of course we were going to see each other at work today, but I don't know - maybe like a goodnight text or something would have sort of been nice?

And I would NEVER EVER expect this, I don't even know why I am even mentioning it I don't care about this kind of thing at all - but I kind if pictured us going out for brunch after, maybe doing the Times crossword over bagels or something?  It's totally fine that we didn't.  I'm not a big fan of brunch really, overpriced eggs, not really my scene.  But I just thought that you know, some of the other coworkers from the steam room might be doing that after and it would have been ok if Nefeli had wanted to as well.

And you know, Valentine's is in a couple weeks...  Just because we were in the steam room together doesn't mean we automatically have to acknowledge Valentine's Day now.  It is so commercial and over-hyped, but I guess, if she wasn't doing anything and I wasn't doing anything, I would not be completely against just a laid back carriage ride through Central Park or something?

Anyway, I really don't care about any of these things at all.  And I am not even thinking that Nef has lost respect for me now or anything.  And I am the complete opposite of a stage one clinger or something, but I was so surprised when I dropped by her apartment unannounced last night  playing "In Her Eyes" outside her window that she was not more excited to see me.  Ok, I am just going to let this be for now.  It was what it was.  That's fine.  If any of you see Nef though, would you mind telling her I think I might be pregnant and we need to talk?  Thanks.

special guest-blog written by Nefeli - coworker/best mate

When Michelle and I walked into the office today proud and enveloped in that glorious feeling of having been to the gym the day before and having accomplished what could only be described as a tremendous workout, we answered all the questions that were bombarded our way. Questions such as – 'What did you guys actually do in the gym?' were answered with honesty.

What did we do?

I will tell you exactly what we did. We did push-ups and pull-ups and pull downs.  We walked up and down artificial hills on the treadmills.  We explored the gym and we pushed each other to the limit. That’s what we did. The highlight of that incredible hour was Michelle’s 3 sets of ½ push ups and my 2 ½ minute tour on the treadmill intercepted by overdramatic sighs of desperation...

After all this we entered the steam room wrapped in towels that covered our shame and we saw women with their breasts right there in the open and others with their legs spread open wide for public viewing. In that absolute silence that existed in that steam room I had the urge to say the word boobs out loud and break that silence. When I did thank God Michelle was there to laugh out loud despite the vengeful glances we got from the other women. That’s what happened yesterday at the gym.

in any case, three separate people have requested i wear more color instead of my usual (chic) black.  looking down i noticed i did in fact look like a female johnny cash during his fistful of barbiturates, hotel smashing phase - that is to say smoldering.  but also - in all black.

tomorrow i shall begin to attempt the impossible.  wearing more bright colors while somehow avoiding looking completely like my mom.  i don't believe there has been a day that i can recall since 1982 that my mom has not worn something very bright, earning her the unfortunate nickname magenta shorts.  it is best when i would come out of my room in high school wearing something i thought was very stylish during my short-lived thrift shop phase and my mom would just wrinkle her nose and ask me if i meant to attract 'umm, you know, boyish acting women' with what i was wearing.  then i would tell her to relax, magenta shorts - i think i know a bit more about style. 

wish me luck!

also, whenever nefeli and i discuss chicken this comes to mind.  i love her. she is like a young, greek don rickles. 

Behold!

1.  Paul Rudd.  <3 

2.  Jon Stewart.  This really bears no further explanation.  The smartest boy in class but totally cool about it.  Also, his wife seems normal and they look really cute. 

3.  Rahm Emanuel.  The wildcard.  That slight frame.  The ego.  The Arby's maiming. 

4.  Jason Segel.  Ok, he has had a bit of face time at Banal Fixation.  Let's see.  He's super tall, not averse to crying during umm, you know, and rides a motorcycle. 

5.  Peter Riegert!  Boon.  He edged out Joseph Gordon-Levitt due in no small part to the bathtub pot smoking scene in Animal House.  I love how he sings to her and holds her head and they argue about the lyrics.  Also, he dated Bette Midler throughout the 70s.  How fking cool is that.  http://www.fancast.com/movies/National-Lampoons-Animal-House/93344/790930938/Smoke-Some-Pot/videos

* Jews I'd Like to Friend.  Like on facebook.

We are only five minutes and twenty seconds into the Vikings game and I already have no idea what is going on.  I feel defeated.  Being sort of from Minnesota I am rooting for them.  But then I think New Orleans could use this more - Minnesota has had their day in the sun.  I am of course speaking about when Appollonia attempted to cleanse herself in what she thought was Lake Minnetonka in "Purple Rain."

Adrienne and I were perusing a certain favorite website of ours and Chil's friend Al came up all grossed out.

"Why are you even on this website?  Why do you even care about these girls?  They don't even look like real women.  They look annoying."

"Who is like a real woman to you Al?"

"#1. My girlfriend of course.  Then Cameron Diaz."

"The Mask Cameron Diaz or current Cameron Diaz?"

"Yes."

"Ok, who else?"

"There's only one other person.  A pretty little Puerto Rican girl I have liked for a long time.  Vanna White."

"Vanna White really?  Is Vanna White even Puerto Rican?"

"It is not well known, but yes she definitely is.  I have known this for awhile.  Obviously she changed her last name to White."

"That seems like an extremely obvious choice for a last name."

"Yep.  Just like Johnny Mathis."

"Huh?"

"You thought his real last name was Mathis?  No.  He's Puerto Rican as well.  I'm continually surprised people do not know this."