Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Michelle Markowitz


Comedy Writer/Performer

Fw: New! Smokin' Hot Meat & Potatoes

Below is a very typical email I received from my Mom just now.  There are many notable elements when broken down illustrating exactly why I am, in fact, the way that I am.
 
1.  Receiving an email with "Smokin' Hot Meat" in the subject title from my 58-year old Mother does not make me flinch at all.  Whereas you might assume your Mom's email account has been hacked, my first thought is "Of course! Mom must be on a smoked meats mailing list.  This sounds about right..."
 
2.  I am 0% surprised my Mom is on a mailing list for Famous Dave's, a semi-popular Midwestern chain of ribs restaurants - which has now, God help us all, opened their newest location in New York's very own Times Square.  If you happen to run into my parents and myself roaming the streets you should know that we are either on our way or returning from a visit to Famous Dave's.  This will be easy to ascertain due to my parents inversely proportionate amount of either exhuberance and and happiness to be in NY and with their daughters! (en route to Famous Dave's)  Or haggardness/ generally taciturn demeanor. (post-Famous Dave's)
 
3.  The final point of subtext in this email is that my Mom genuinely thinks I would like to put that Bachelor of Fine Arts to good use (kill meeee) and create a short film about, wait for it, a new menu item at the middling chain restaurant my parents frequent in order for a shot at the gold!  Sundance?  Better.  Acclaim from the entertainment industry I have been longing to be a part of since my first Tampax commercial audition in 2003?  Of course not.  Street cred?  Hardly.   Much, much better. 
 
A shot at $1000 US.  And of course the pride my parents will feel when the next time they set foot at their local Famous Dave's a new dialogue occurs:
 
 
Poor, Famous Dave's Hostess:  [monotone] Hello, and welcome to Famous Dave's.
My Dad:  Hi, I'm Famous Ed.  My wife and I would like a table for two.
My Mom:  Oh, ha!!  Ed!!! HA! [shaking head as if to think, "How DID I get so lucky all those years ago at that early-70s  Jewish temple dance!]
Poor, Famous Dave's Hostess:  ............ Ok.  Well I can show you to your table then.
(AND NOW NEW DIALOGUE BELOW:)

My Dad:  Great.  You know our Michie won your ribs filmmaking contest!
Poor, Famous Dave's Hostess:  ..................
My Mom:  Yep, she sure did!  I sent her the email!  We are so proud! 
My Dad:   I am just going to cry all over my ribs.  But first can you bring me a huge Diet Coke with a stack of napkins this thick.
 
FINIS.
 
Ok, I just have something in both my eyes now... Lemme know if anyone has any meat/potatos/corn DP experience - just email me, thanks guys...
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mom
Date: Wed, Sep 30, 2009 at 9:27 AM
Subject: Fw: New! Smokin' Hot Meat & Potatoes


Hi Michie,
 
Here's a chance to win $1000 for doing a short film for Dave's! Just thought I'd let you know.
 
Love,
Mom

--- On Tue, 9/29/09, Famous Dave's <Famous_Daves@famousdaves.fishbowl.com> wrote:


From: Famous Dave's <Famous_Daves@famousdaves.fishbowl.com>
Subject: New! Smokin' Hot Meat & Potatoes
To: "dianemarkowitz@yahoo.com" <dianemarkowitz@yahoo.com>
Date: Tuesday, September 29, 2009, 2:51 PM

Problem viewing? Click here.
Diane,
Famous Dave's® SMOKIN' HOT! Meatloaf & Flame Grilled Ribeye! Starting at just $8.99
This ain't your mama's meat & potatoes! Dave's done it again! First the best ribs. Then the best chicken, chopped pork and beef brisket. Now, he's come up with a whole new kind of barbequed meatloaf and ribeye. Slow, hickory-smoked and ready to blow your taste buds away. (Even the price will make you drool.)
Famous Dave's® Legendary Pit Bar-B-Que© For a limited time only! At participating restaurants.
The 1st Annual FAMOUS FAN FILM FESTIVAL Get your creative sauces flowin' and submit an original short film. Winner receives $1,000! Visit famousdaves.com for details or follow us on Twitter at <a href=http://twitter.com/famous_daves" width="343" />
Twitter at <a href=http://twitter.com/famous_daves" width="343" />
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