Since I'm turning 30 (and I'm a woman) I am embracing wine bars.  Whereas back in the day (Friday night) I was content to hang out with comedians in establishments where I always have to hold the bathroom door shut with one hand because it has a faulty lock, these days (Saturday night) I was looking for something a bit more age appropriate.  This is what happens.

Scene:  Wine bar, Upper East Side, New York (for my non-NY readers- this is the neighborhood the Jeffersons lived in once they made it, and where Gwyneth Paltrow grew up)

My three girlfriends proceed to ask thoughtful questions about wine and order a variety of reds.

Me:  (looking at menu) I'll have a glass of the Riesling please.
Bartender:  We actually are not serving that now, since it's winter.  Are there any other wines you like, I can point you in the right direction.
Me:  Great, thanks.  Let's see, do you have anything dessert Moscato-like?
Bartender:  Hmm.  I'm sensing you like sweet wines.
Me:  Yes!  Anything sort of Mom like I love.
Bartender:  Tell me what you think of this... (pours a tasting)
Me: (tries it, and it tastes for lack of a better word, like rubbing alcohol) (trying to be classy)  Hmm.  Thank you.... I am sensing notes that are somewhat....heavy in tone (why am I describing wine using the same description as I would for a holocaust themed movie?)
Bartender:  Understood.  It may help if you spit your gum out too.
Me: (resigned) Touche.